Frugal & Bougie? How??

Over the last ten years we’ve been able to go from $100k in debt to ~$1m net worth.

And a big reason for this… we lived a frugal life!

We didn’t upgrade cars (well, we did finally upgrade our van that had over 220k miles to a 3-year-old Ford Explorer that we paid cash for).

We don’t use credit cards, meaning we don’t have credit card debt.

We bought a home that I spent weekends renovating, so our mortgage is less than 10% of our income.

The list goes on.

But at some point, we have to recognize that money is a tool for making life easier, being generous and building stability.

And so while we are still frugal:

• Only second-hand baby clothes

• No fancy nursery

• Our dresser is the changing table

We did decide to spend on 3 things that I felt were bougie. And I wanted to explain why we did it.

Because even if you don’t have kids, I think there is a time and place to spend consciously.

And if you want more motivation, you should check out the book, “Die with Zero”.

The reason: Saving and investing is important. For me, this book helped me loosen the reigns a little and realize that I’m saving and investing to live a better life. So I should live a better life when possible.

The 2 Things We Spent On

Night Nurse

Yes, we spent money to have someone stay at our house in the middle of the night and watch the baby.

Sleep is important for healing. And I wanted my wife to have the ability to heal in this first month.

Could we have figured this out on our own? Sure, that’s why it’s considered bougie!

But having someone come twice a week:

1. It gave my wife a guaranteed 10 hours of sleep.

2. It gave the two of us 90 minutes alone together to connect. Which we use as date nights.

3. It’s helping us sleep train our son.

My rationale for the spend.

We aren’t spending any money on daycare or a nanny this month. And the total cost of this night nurse is much less than what we’ll likely have to spend when we both go back to work.

Meal Delivery

I’m not talking UberEats here.

We paid money to have this woman cook meals out of her own home and deliver them once a week.

The meals are designed specifically for postpartum. All organic. And delicious (yes, I’ve eaten some).

It’s not meant to cover all of our meals.

But, when my wife can barely walk and I’m balancing managing the house, taking care of the baby and my wife, it’s made it a lot easier to ensure my wife is getting quality meals.

If I was cooking every meal, I would definitely be cutting corners on the quality.

And for us, health is really important. Which is why we have spent extra to get more sleep and healthy food.

Also, the cost of what we spend on the delivery service and groceries is basically the cost of what we spent on groceries before plus a meal out.

And if you have kids, you know that you’re not hitting up Chile’s with a two-week-old.

I’m not sure if this is considered bougie. But I think it is!

Applying This To Your Life

I didn’t write this with the intention of just bragging about having a night nurse.

I wrote this because my friends will always justify any of their big purchases to me as though I’m judging them for not saving every dollar.

And I imagine that many of you reading this are doing a great job saving, and need to hear that it’s ok to enjoy your money.

But you need to be intentional with how you do it.

For example:

I had a friend/coworker who’s 25 reach out to me this week. He just got a promotion and is making more money than ever before. His plan is to just save all of it.

Not a bad plan. But I told him about our newborn and how hard it is to travel or try new experiences during this stage in my life.

Not that I never will or can’t, it’s just easier when you’re that age.

And so I explained he shouldn’t guilt himself out of those experiences.

And.. He’s young, he has the opportunity to continue to increase his income. Investing in the market is smart. But at his age, investing in himself is just as smart.

Whether that be reading books, courses, certifications, conferences, networking, getting a coach.

Those can be looked at as bougie purchases, but I think they’re very intentional.

For you:

• What’s important to you right now? A good way to answer this is to think, if I had unlimited money, what would be some of the things I would prioritize?

• What do you want to spend more time doing? And less time doing? This will give you an idea of the things you may want to (eventually) outsource.

• What’s your retirement or financial independence number? You can’t do either of the above if you don’t know this number. Because this will be your guide to how much you need to be investing each month.

If you hit your target with $200 per month, and you’re investing $200 per month. You have every right to be intentional with your money.

But you need to budget.

Budgeting will help you spend more intentionally.

It will highlight the waste. It will highlight how you can save and invest enough to hit your goals.

And it will highlight how much you have left to spend more time doing what you love and less time doing what you hate.

For me personally, I use Monarch Money.

They have these cash flow charts that show how much your spending on various categories month over month.

So if you have a spike in eating out, you catch it.

If you overspend on subscriptions, you catch it.

And you don’t have to manually enter anything, so you don’t have to spend a bunch of time in spreadsheets, if that’s something you hate doing.